Psychologists wanted to know if people could get better at talking to strangers - so they turned it into a game.
For a week, participants used an app to complete daily missions, like finding someone wearing a hat and chatting to them for a few minutes. A control group did the same missions but they only observed people.
By the end of the week, the talkers expected fewer rejections and felt more confident starting, keeping up and ending a conversation. A week after the study ended, those gains had stuck. As for the observers, they showed no change.
And those rejections they'd feared? 87% of the 1,336 conversations happened with the very first person they approached.
The fear they experienced dropped day by day, as they saw evidence that people are in fact eager to connect.
How to practise it at work
Set yourself a mission. Invite the colleague you only know from email for a call or a coffee
Go one notch past small talk to medium talk. Ask for opinions or experiences e.g. "how’re you finding the project?" or “what’re you looking forward to outside of work”?
Notice the reaction. Your brain remembers the one awkward moment and often forgets the ten that went fine. Keep score for a week.
Being a good connector isn’t a personality thing, it’s a reps thing. Get yapping!
If you’d like a yap with me, for free —book a free 30 minute consultation - I’d love to chat.
Source
Sandstrom, G. M., Boothby, E. J. and Cooney, G. (2022). Talking to strangers: A week-long intervention reduces psychological barriers to social connection. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 102, 104356.