Are you in Contact, or connection?

Here's your mission: track when you spend time this week in actual connection with other people at work.

Not the time spent in a team meeting (lightly disassociating while planning your evening meal), or asking “how are you all?” at the start of a meeting with a tone that makes it clear that’s not a real question.

We all know what it feels like to be in connection - though it’s hard to describe. Real connection, at least for me, feels like being in the flow state. All present, are present. We’re reacting and responding to one another. We’re sharing a moment, not robotically exchanging platitudes like dolls with strings that activate our voice boxes.

It doesn’t have to be a poignant exchange seemingly scripted by Sally Rooney herself - it can be: a genuine ‘how are you?’, a conversation where you deliver feedback, where you’re challenging a perspective. Any moment that lands you into the present moment.

Write these moments down - for one week.

Most of us have no idea how much of our time is spent in connection - we’re just left with a vague sense that something is missing when those moments are too few.

According to Gallup's State of the Global Workplace report, one in five employees report experiencing loneliness a lot the previous day. This week - keep track of what helps to keep loneliness at bay.

An important note: the digital layer isn't the problem. A proper phone conversation is real connection. A video call where you're actually present can be real connection.

Look at the percentage of conversations that you’re connected during, without judgement. Is it 20%? Is it roughly 70%? Just pay attention.

Because here's what the research on behaviour change tells us: awareness precedes action. You can't address a pattern you haven't properly identified.

Start by noticing. The rest follows from there.

Meetings are containers for either connection or contact:

What’s the difference between being in contact, and being in connection?